Daily Diary Sunday 21st of September 2008

I had decided to do a car boot today as the weather forecast had said no rain thank god it's rained here for weeks and weeks and always on Sundays for some reason. My son had gone to his dads for the weekend so I was fine to go with the dogs and hopefully get rid of a bit more junk from the shed. My sister, her boyfriend, my niece, nephew and 3 dogs fit in my car as well as 2 tables and the stuff to sell. My god I thought it's a good job it's a people carrier. We had a long day and took about 30 quid between us but it was fun and we all had a day out on a field, in the cold and fog. No sun again but I was looking forward to my son coming home as my 19-year-old son who lives with his father was also coming for the week.

It had been my birthday on the Wednesday and he was bringing me a card. I waited patiently after I had dropped my family back home. I waited for quiet a few hours then about 7pm my son came in and dumped his bag on the chair as usual "where's Sam" I said then my younger son replied "he's not well and not coming" I was disappointed.

Just then the phone rang it was my son he and my ex-husband live about 60 miles away from me. He said hi mum and then told me hadn't been feeling well lately so he wouldn't be coming but said "don't worry mum Ill come next week and take you out for a lovely meal for your birthday you choose." He the proceeded to have a moan at his father telling me he hates him and he makes him mad. I said what's up this time as I had had an episode a couple of weeks ago with a knife and his father. He told me he'd been for his Aids test and because he hasn't been feeling well he had asked his dad to go with him for some moral support and his dad had said NO.

Again I was angry but I have a relationship with my ex-husband where we can't have a civil conversation and his favourite trick is slamming the phone down on me if he doesn't like what he hears. I somehow knew then there's something not right. He seemed most upset that his dad wouldn't go with him for the test. I told him I couldn't make his dad go with him I hate my ex-husband he is a self centred, lying nasty man and hope he's judged in hell. There got that off my chest for a start and no am not a man hating woman I believe there are thousands of lovely men out there its just I didn't find one. I said it will be OK hunny and we said our usual when parting I tell him I love him and he tells me he loves me.